My Beloved Relative

We cried silently in the church as they blessed her ashes. None of us wanted this to happen. Who would? To lose something you care for so dearly. Someone who gave you so many wonderful memories just gone in a blink of an eye. She took me to my first Broadway play, got me into taking photos, made me love the idea of travel and even taught me how to make sunny-sided up eggs. It wasn't fair. She fought so hard. She didn't want to leave us. She wanted to keep living and continue to watch us grow. This was the kind of woman who didn't complain, she kept smiling and dealt with her problems. She experienced so many things, making people laugh until the end. I didn't know her as much as I should have or I can't remember much. It's just so hard to image someone who has always been there for you to be gone all of a sudden. Yes, we knew she was sick and that this would happen. I guess we were all hoping for some sort of miracle. Why? They told us that she was supposed to die in about three months. . .that was three years ago. She died a week ago. The weirdest part? Being in her apartment and thinking what she did last here; your almost afraid to move anything because if everything changes that means that she really is gone. That you can't talk to her during the christmas eve party, hug her, and tell her about what has happened since the last time you've seen her. The worst part? Realizing that people die everyday and there is nothing anyone can do about it. You can't bring back the dead. Then you start to think about what would happen if everyone else was gone. If everyone else died and left you all alone with no family to lean on. That scared me. It still scares me and I miss her so such. I thought I wouldn't cry as much as I had but seeing my sister and mother cry like that. . . I couldn't help but cry along with them. I couldn't go back and fix it. I couldn't go back and get to know her better. I couldn't go back and save her. All I can do is move on and enjoy all the stories everyone has been telling me about her. Now by now you might be wondering who she was was to me. I'll tell you. She was my aunt. Most people aren't close to some of their relatives and if you knew how big my family was you'd understand how I keep forgetting who's who. But there was just something about her that seemed to keep everyone together. That's what made her who she was.